http://www.hurryfaster.com/

Hurry faster, faster, faster

(Do not try this at home until you have taken our expensive training course).

1. Learn our motto: Get outta my way!
2. Do not concentrate on any one thing: multitask constantly.
3. Rush everywhere.
4. Develop an inflated view of your self-importance.
5. Talk loudly on your cell phone in crowded places.
6. Fast conversation tip 1: Don’t listen and never ask questions.
7. Fast conversation tip 2: Always talk about you.
8. Find an opportunity to be rude. Politeness is for sissies.
9. Cultivate tension and exhaustion.
10. A headache is the sign of a hard worker. Hard workers are cool.
11. Tell others to hurry up.
12. Work very hard and never take time off. Only talk about work.
13. Hire someone to go on exotic vacations for you: you will not have time to go yourself.
14. Eat quickly.
15. If you have to have sex, get it over with quickly.
16. Watch more TV.
17. Talk fast.
18. Talk faster than the person you are talking to.
19. Avoid thinking about what you are going to do before doing it: Planning is useless.
20. Save valuable milliseconds: always use the speed dial.
21. IMPORTANT: DO NOT VISIT SlowDownNow.org.

Note: Eating and brushing your teeth at the same time is only for advanced practitioners. Got it?